The Strange Collision of Christmas, Spending, and Self-Improvement<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every year, as soon as Christmas hits, New Year\u2019s shows up right behind it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Reflection and planning happen all at once \u2014 while we\u2019re also being told YOLO, spend freely, buy gifts for everyone you know, and celebrate nonstop. It\u2019s a strange overlap. We\u2019re financially stretched, socially overextended, tired, and reflective\u2026 and somehow this is also the moment we\u2019re supposed to set big life goals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even on a smaller scale, the pressure feels constant. Christmas gifts, birthdays, Valentine\u2019s Day right around the corner \u2014 sometimes I don\u2019t even like the idea of having to buy gifts back-to-back, let alone overhaul my entire life in the middle of winter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What Are We Actually Celebrating?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
New Year\u2019s Eve itself is its own contradiction. It\u2019s glittery and romanticized \u2014 the one night a year where staying up past 11pm feels normal. We\u2019re celebrating\u2026 but what exactly?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Are we celebrating a new year?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Or are we really celebrating the end of the old one?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It almost feels like a quieter version of Christmas \u2014 except instead of naughty or nice lists, we\u2019re handed resolutions. Celebrate if you did \u201cgood\u201d this year. Set a goal for next year. Improve something about yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But what if you didn\u2019t hit the goal?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What if the year was hard?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What if you\u2019re exhausted, broke, or just surviving?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why are we expected to declare goals in one of the most depressing seasons of the year \u2014 when daylight is short, money is tight, routines are off, and motivation is low?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe that\u2019s the point. Maybe resolutions exist to distract us from the post-holiday financial hangover and seasonal sadness \u2014 something shiny to focus on until normalcy returns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why New Year\u2019s Resolutions Have Never Worked for Me<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Either way, resolutions have never really worked for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not because I don\u2019t want to improve \u2014 but because the structure itself feels flawed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve failed almost every New Year\u2019s resolution I can remember. Not because I didn\u2019t care, but because they became distractions \u2014 ways to hyper-focus on one \u201cfix\u201d while ignoring everything else in my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Smoking, the Gym, and the Illusion of a Fresh Start<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Take smoking, for example. For years, my resolution was always I\u2019m quitting smoking. Meanwhile, my health was struggling in every other way too \u2014 diet, sleep, stress, movement. I wasn\u2019t exactly eating well and chain-smoking on December 31st, then magically becoming a new person on January 1st.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve quit smoking now \u2014 and I\u2019ll write about that separately \u2014 but it had nothing to do with a resolution. I quit many times before I quit for good. None of them happened because the calendar flipped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The same thing happened with the gym.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve done the classic two to three times a week resolution more than once \u2014 always starting from a completely sedentary place. I\u2019ve lived in my apartment for over six months and I still haven\u2019t seen the inside of the gym. Meanwhile, the real goal in my head was losing 50 pounds, not 10.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Saying drink less on a drinking holiday is another contradiction entirely. For anyone who struggles with alcohol, that champagne toast alone turns it into a mental nightmare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why \u201cGood\u201d Resolutions Still Set Us Up to Fail<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even the most well-intentioned resolutions fall apart under scrutiny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Getting organized doesn\u2019t happen in a day \u2014 it happens through routines, small decisions, and constant adjustment. Trying to do it all at once just leads to overwhelm and mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Career changes around Christmas? Historically terrible timing unless you\u2019re pivoting into gig work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Spending more time with friends and family? Why does that need to be a resolution at all? Why not just\u2026 do it when you can?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The common thread is that resolutions ask us to declare big changes all at once \u2014 publicly, rigidly, and often unrealistically. And once we slip, we label ourselves as having failed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That failure is what sticks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once I missed a workout, smoked a cigarette, or ate the \u201cwrong\u201d thing, I didn\u2019t just break a resolution \u2014 I gave myself permission to stop trying until next year. Failure became a pause button.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Lie We All Quietly Agree To<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No one even asks about resolutions later anyway. Did you complete yours? is met with vague answers \u2014 the self-improvement version of world peace in a beauty pageant. Lofty goals everyone agrees with, few people actually hit, and most people quietly abandon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When you look up the most common New Year\u2019s resolutions, they\u2019re almost all the same: self-improvement, learning, hobbies, community, health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
These aren\u2019t once-a-year goals. They\u2019re everyday life things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What I Do Instead of Making Resolutions<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So instead of resolutions, this is what I do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every year, I reflect \u2014 honestly. I look at what went well, what didn\u2019t, what I learned, and what I\u2019d do differently if I could. I always have regrets. I always have growth. That\u2019s normal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My only real goal is simple:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do a little better than last year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ideally, a lot better \u2014 but a little better is enough to start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t want to focus on one thing. I want to focus on everything, slowly. When you slow things down, you create space to think instead of hyper-fixating. Improvement happens in increments \u2014 one percent a day, or even one percent a week. Over a year, that\u2019s massive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes I beat myself up thinking about how stupid past-me was. But that\u2019s another thing I\u2019ve learned: growth looks dumb in hindsight because it means you learned something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why the Featured Photo Matters<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The featured image for this post is a throwback house-party photo \u2014 my twin sister and me ringing in 2013 with friends Danny and Amanda. It feels like a completely different lifetime.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We\u2019re not close anymore. Some of us drifted. Some married, divorced, remarried. One of them eventually moved to Vegas, weirdly enough. Now we mostly exist in each other\u2019s lives through Facebook memories and Instagram stories.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Looking at that photo now makes me laugh \u2014 not in a sad way, but in a wow, life really moves way. That night felt so permanent back then. It wasn\u2019t. None of it was. And that\u2019s kind of the point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Laughing at the Absurdity of It All<\/p>\n\n\n\n
New Year\u2019s Eve, for me, is about reflection and laughter. Sometimes I\u2019m out on the Strip in Vegas, sometimes I\u2019m in bed by 10pm. Either way, I laugh at the absurdity of it all \u2014 the pressure, the expectations, the way life changes so dramatically over time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At 39, maybe that\u2019s the real resolution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Laugh more. Reflect honestly. Keep going.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And try to do a little better next year \u2014 without declaring war on yourself to do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Throw back Photos 2013<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":100,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-103","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n